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March 2009 Supervisor Q & A Q One employee accused another of punching her in the arm. The accused employee claims it was all in fun. Kids do this sort of thing, but she does have a bruise. Should I refer her to the EAP? A Violence has no place at work. Your employee is doing the right thing by addressing the issue, and so could you. Violence is not defined by what the accused had in mind. It may seem like simple roughhousing, but it happened at work between two adults, and this makes all the difference. If you do not take this seriously it can be established that you responded with negligence. If something more or worse happens in the future, your response to this compliant might be examined. Give the matter the attention it deserves by investigating, referring the accused to Performance EAP, documenting your response, and consulting with your manager or human resources department. If you need guidance on how to handle this, or other supervisory issues, call 337-436-9533 for a phone consultation or to schedule an appointment. Submit your supervisory questions for the Supervisor Q & A section to Candis at candis@fyca.org, or fax 337-439-9941.
The Other Side Q When I think of exploring a new opportunity at work, I begin to get anxious. I worry about how much stress and pressure a new position would bring me. How do I get over this anxiousness so that I can seek new opportunities? A Stepping out of your comfort zone usually causes some distress. New challenges are sometimes an uncomfortable fit, so don’t expect perfection immediately. The key is remembering you know more than you think you do. Start by applying previous experiences to new situations, get feedback from your supervisor, and continue to make adjustments. Counselors at Performance EAP can help you on the road to success, call 337-436-9533 for an appointment.
Submit your questions for The Other Side Q & A to Candis at candis@fyca.org, or fax 337-439-9941. Past Issues
Performance
Employee Assistance and Business Services Family &Youth’s guiding principle is that all individuals possess the ability to solve their own challenges and live full and healthy lives when support is available.
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2009: Will it be Your Best Year Yet? By Candis Carr, EdD, LPC, LMFT,CEAP Associate Executive Director Earl Nightingale, pioneer of the spoken word self-help industry, liked to point out that we often learn best from the worst. For example, a man with a cruel father and distracted mother makes a pledge to love and give positive attention to his own children. The woman who is reared in oppressive poverty determines to succeed in the world so her children will have a richer life. Teens vow to drive better when they pass a horrible accident on the highway…and a young couple promises never to incur impossible debt after seeing a family evicted from their home on national television.
Kahlil Gibran expressed it this way: “I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind."
As for me, I remember well the advice my father gave me after I complained once too often that the “big kids in junior high” wouldn’t speak to me, a third grader. My dad said, “There’s nothing I can do about that; but here’s what you can do: When you are a big kid, you can speak to the little kids.” Almost immediately, I felt better; probably because my dad’s advice was an invitation to be proactive. Now I had a plan, instead of a grumble.
What is your plan? As we enter what is supposed to be a very tough year in terms of the economy and other concerns, we can remember that whether we are setting a good or bad example, each of us is a teacher to those who depend on us and to those most influenced by our conduct – especially in the workplace. Our daily performance will be critically important in the face of potentially lean economic times: not only what we do and what we say, but also what we do not do and what we do not say.
Supporting each other; staying positive; stepping up to the plate when asked; and remaining flexible will make all the difference in whether or not 2009 is the success we all want it to be.
How will you approach your year? If you have concerns or questions about how to make the most of 2009, the staff and counselors of Performance EAP welcome your call. No problem is too big; no concern too small. Our well-trained team of professionals is ready to serve you. Don’t wait; call today (337-436-9533). Why not make 2009 your best year yet?
Let Children Find Solutions Don’t you feel good when you’ve solved a challenge on your own? Do you learn from your mistakes? When your child makes a mistake or comes up against a challenging situation try to back off and let him or her figure it out. Unless it’s a safety issue such as bullying or violence, offer guidance to help you child find resources to help—school counselor or community resources. Show your support by offering feedback and advice, but leave room for your child to solve it himself. This approach helps children build independence and problem-solving skills that will help him or her all the way into adulthood.
Sleep Good to Feel Good Sleep is essential not only to life, but to your health. We’ve all noticed how we feel the next day after a night of little sleep. Researchers at Harvard have put together six reasons why you need a good night’s sleep—every night. 1. Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later. 2. Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite. 3. Safety: Lack of sleep contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents. 4. Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do. 5. Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat. 6. Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer. If you have trouble sleeping call Performance EAP for an appointment, 337-436-9533. A counselor will be able to help you determine what is keeping you awake at night.
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SMART PARENTING ANGER
MANAGEMENT Anger may be our most misunderstood emotion. Although it is a normal and positive emotion when handled effectively, out-of-control anger can be destructive when mishandled. Don’t let your anger take control! Join us for one individual session, six group sessions, then one follow-up session and get a handle on your anger! For more info call 337-436-9533 or email Bill@fyca.org.
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